


How I Met Your (Creepypasta) Mother

by TheDreadGhost



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Parody, Romantic Comedy, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 22:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11023128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDreadGhost/pseuds/TheDreadGhost
Summary: Jeff tells the story of how he met Jane.





	How I Met Your (Creepypasta) Mother

"Kids, have I ever told you about the the story of how I met your mother?" Jeff began telling the story as he sat across two teenagers on the couch.

"You got me out of Advanced Warfare for this?" The boy of the duo kids wondered with an irritated tone.

"Do you want to hear the story or not?" Jeff replied Angrily.

"Not really, "He responded as he rested his cheek on his hand.

"Shut up!" Jeff almost jumped from his seat as he exclaimed.

Rolling his eyes, the boy groaned and mumbled, "Fine."

Jeff sat down and returned to recall his story. "It was back when Creepypastas ruled the world..."

"Creepypastas never ruled the world. We all lived, and still living, in the under realm." Yet again, the boy wittily commented, interrupting the story.

"Shut your mouth, I'm the one who's telling the story," Jeff exclaimed again, placing his voice higher this time. "It was the year two thousand something..."

* * *

Jeff was driving his car on the main road, heading towards the middle of the forest. He was driving a white convertible car with a plate that read 'Honk if you love Jeff or go to sleep'.

He soon reached a big building hidden within the woods and parked beside the other vehicles. He got out of the car and walked up to the stairs. As he knocked on the door, he could hear the loud music coming from inside of the mansion. No doubt it was one big party.

The door was soon opened by Eyeless Jack who he happily greeted Jeff. "Hey, the party man has finally arrived!"

Jeff silently nodded back and entered the house. He absorbed the surrounding of the inside of the mansion and the Proxies that were attending the party. The party was more within the style of the seventies or eighties. With a big, sparkling disco ball hanging from the ceiling, a classic DJ, funky clothes, and weird dances moves.

"So, what do you think of party?" Slenderman's voice was heard from behind.

Jeff turned around, showing little interest in his face as he simply shrugged, "Eh."

It's not as if he didn't enjoy parties, quiet the opposite. When the animal was unleashed, even the lamest parties were brought back to life. He just wasn't feeling the spark today, a case Mondays if you'd call it.

Then suddenly, his eyes caught something very unusual.

* * *

"That's when my eyes caught my first true love." Said Jeff.

"That can't be right." The boy interjected lost in bafflement.

"How so?"

"You, a party animal. All you do all day is watch re-runs of desperate housewives." He recalled as while fixing him with a brow. "I refuse to believe that."

"Ahem, I'm talking about true love here."

With a roll of his eyes, the boy sigh, "Procced."

* * *

In the distance, Ben was standing behind the crowd in his usual green outfit. It's as id the crowd was slowly parting away, allowing Jeff to set more visual on him. His smooth blond hair slowly danced back and forth with the wind. His breathtaking eyes gazed back to Jeff. A seductive smile made its way on his face. The red dots in the blackness of his eyes were warmly glowing, providing a small light to the darkness.

That was until a knife slashed its way towards his throat and quickly cut it open. He let out a muted gasp as the blood rushed out of his throat. He quickly held his neck, hoping to block the blood rush. His knees soon failed to hold his upper body anymore, and he fell down half dead, unraveling the killer who stood behind him, holding the bloody was

It was a female proxy, dressed in a long black dress. Hair and eyes matching the color of the blackest nights. A white mask shielding her face, adding more mystery and thrill to whom may be hiding behind it.

Alas, the suspense died as she carefully took off the mask and revealed her ominous face.

* * *

"Jane the killer!" the boy exclaimed in shock.

"Wow! Jane the killer is our mother?" The younger who was sitting beside him had her jaw on the ground.

* * *

"Whoa, nice one girl." Jeff commented at Jane, as she approached him.

She flashed him with a wide smirk and flicked her bangs away from her face. "Oh, you haven't seen a thing yet."

"So you don't like Ben either?" Jeff wondering as he watched the life escaping Ben's body.

"Don't like?! I hate him." She groaned in disgust before adding, "He's an idiot and a pervert."

"Welcome to the club." Joked the joker's face.

"Sorry, can't join, I'm already a plus." she countered back before letting out a giggle, and Jeff joined in with the laughter.

As the laughter slowly died down, Jeff suddenly suggested, "So do you want to grab a drink, or should we drink what's left of Ben?"

"Race you to it," Jane answered and playfully smacked his back.

* * *

"We talked all night long." Jeff continued recalling the night he spent with Jane. "We had a lot in common. Near identical catchphrase, we enjoyed killing people, we both used knives, _and_ we both shared our mutual love for breaking bad."

"You hate breaking bad. You always talk about how overrated that show it is." The boy interrupted his daydream with another witty criticism.

"Shut your mouth you pussy." Jeff burst with rage. "Anyways, that wasn't the only thing she was into..."

* * *

"Okay, I'm ready." Jane announced as she gritted her teeth from the unexpected.

"Are you sure about this? I can wait..." Jeff tried reasoning with her, but with no avail.

"Yes!" Jane clenched to his shoulder and demanded, "I want it inside of me!"

"Okay," Jeff squeaked softly, not wanting to push her any further. "But as soon as it begins to hurt, the safeword is 'uncle'."

With a difficult sigh, Jeff quickly pushed the tip inside of her, thinking it would be less painful to go all in at once. The sudden action caused Jane to let out a cry of both pain and pleasure. Sweat was dripping down from her forehead as her vision started to blur, she felt her entire body was beginning to melt like jelly Quick gasps for air was demanded, as heavy red blush sprayed her face.

As the temptation slowly lowered down, Jane took a look at what she had expressed. Her black eyes caught the sight of Jeff's shining blade stuck deep within her shoulder

"That. Was. Intense!" Jane uttered with excitement.

"That was really hardcore Jane" Jeff slowly took the knife out, carefully, before pressing a piece of cloth against the wound.

"I know right." Jane agreed with him as she took over the cloth and applied pressure to her new, yet-to-be. symbolic scar, just like Jeff's.

A deep scar, induced by each other, for eternity. A true sign of love, one that shall be kept for life.

"So do you wanna have sex now?" Jeff suggested.

Shrugging her shoulders, Jane replied with, "Meh, why not."

* * *

"Dude, what the fuck!" The boy quickly interrupted Jeff with a side of disgust.

"If you're not going to listen to my story, then get lost" Jeff yelled back at him.

"Finally!" Throwing his arms in the air, he happily jumped off the couch and left as soon as possible.

With only the girl left behind, she curiously rested her chin on both of her hands and grinned, "Go on."

"But sadly, all the happiness ended in a dark tragedic night." He paused for a moment to collect himself.

* * *

Jane was lying on top of Jeff's lap as they laid on their couch. Jeff's hand gently stroke her shiny black hair and Jane took a pleasure of it.

They were now both happily living in their peaceful shared apartment.

Jane's finger ran playfully on her lips as she was concentrating deeply. "Bauer." Suddenly, she responded.

Jeff looked down at her, wide eyes filled with disbelief. "What, No, way. Scofield!"

"Are you kidding?" She got off his lap and quickly went on, "Jack Bauer can kill Michael Scofield in 24 seconds flat,"

"No, he can't. Because Michael is really smart and he'll find a way around everything Jack throws at him." Jeff spat and gazed into Jane's eyes.

"Yeah, but Jack stops terrorists. What did Michael do?" Flashing him a smirk, she could taste the sweet victory.

"He broke out of three prisons, saved his brother from definite execution, and sacrificed himself to free his love life."

Jeff was about to carry on with his argument if Jane hadn't intruded. "Yeah, and Jack Bauer is unkillable." she quipped, but she was far from finished. "And Michael is gay."

And this was enough to snap Jeff.

"What did you say?" he slowly phased those word, rage rising with each salable.

"You heard me, he is gay." Jane scoffed and cocked him an eyebrow.

However, Jeff didn't say anything. Instead, he got up from the couch and pointed towards the door. "Get. Out."

"If that's how you want it, then fine!" Jane exclaimed loudly and stormed towards the front door.

"Fine!" Jeff quibbled while throwing his hands in the air.

"Fine!" Jane barked before slamming the door close.

"Fine!" Jeff raised his voice higher, making sure Jane heard him.

"Fine!" Jane's voice echoed from downstairs.

Deciding he still hadn't had enough, Jeff quickly dashed into the direction of the window, opened it and yelled, "Fine!"

Jane shouted back at him and gave him one last look before closing the cab's door. "Fine!"

Jeff let out his biggest shout before[slamming the window shut. "Fine!"He heard Jane shouting 'fine' one last time before it all faded into silence.

With even the windows shut tightly, he still heard one last 'Fine' from Jane before it all faded into silence.

* * *

"After that night, I never got to see her again." Jeff finished the story and let out a sad sigh.

The girl was left in disbelief and all sorts of emotions ran through her mind. "Wow..."

A few minutes of silence filled the room before Jeff broke it, still in his somber tone. "Well, if you need me, I'll be in the other room trying to win one of those butterfingers challenges."

She watched as Jeff slowly dragged his feet as if they were logs. He opened the door next to his couch and entered quietly.

"I have to find Jason." The little girl told herself as soon as her father was out of sight.

She quickly dashed upstairs and into Jason bedroom without a second thought. She immediately spotted him playing video games on his computer and rushed next him.

"Jason! Jason! Jason! Jason..." She kept calling his name and shaking his shoulders nonstopping.

Unable to hold his frustration anymore, Jaso suddenly snapped. "What Jenny?!"

Jenny released the grip around his shoulder and said, "We have to help dad."

Jason scoffed mildly and didn't bother taking his sight off the screen. "Why?"

"Because he's depressed." she pointed out.

"He looks fine to me."

Jeff was laying sideways in the bathtub completely naked. The water stream was running and showering him down with icy cold drops. His arms were wrapped around his knees and pulled them closer to his chest. He was shaking back and forth, nonstopping. All while crying from the painful memories.

Jenny gave him a death glare but it didn't seem to bother Jason that much.

"You're gonna have to do more than that."

She squinted her eyes even more and leaned closer to his face.

All sorts of creepy stuff ran in Jason's mind which was enough to make him give in. "Alright, fine. I'll help."

Jenny smiled from joy and excitingly shrieked. "Great! I know exactly what we'll do."

"What a way to spend the weekend. Joy" Jason muttered and rolling his eyes.

* * *

Jason and Jenny were waiting at in the airport during a foggy, cold, and dark night. It was quite and silent, and almost peaceful. They were both waiting for the two separate parties to arrive.

"What makes you think she will come?" Jason asked getting impatient from the waiting.

"I E-mailed her an invitation. Telling her that she won the killer of the year award." Jenny replied, and soon added, "You took care of dad?"

"Yup," Jason answered with a nod.

"Oh my god! I can't believe I won a Butterfinger!" Jeff rushed excitedly from out of nowhere only to stop deadpan after noticing his two kids.

After realizing his position and situation, his nonexistent brows crossed and he shouted, "Hey, You two don't have a Butterfinger!"

"No, but we have a surprise for you," Jenny exclaimed with joy.

"A Butterfinger?" Jeff took an exciting guess.

"Enough with the butterfingers!" Jason yelled with frustration.

Almost immediately, in the thick and the cloudy fog, a shadowy figure appeared. Taking slow steps into the light, the figure revealed itself to be none other than Jane.

Jeff's eyes widened as mere whispers escaped from his hanging mouth, "Jane..."

Jane was startled, a shocking expression covered her face. "Jeff... Ss that you?" She watched, stunningly, as Jeff slowly took heavy steps towards her. "It's been a long time."

"And you are still beautiful." Jeff smiled and stroke her cheek.

Jane was almost on the verge of tears. "Oh Jeff, whatever happened to us?"

"Nothing happened. We can still be together." Jeff gently grabbed her hands and looked deep into her eyes.

A few tears dropped from the corner of eyes as her voice was let out in a muffled whimper. "It's not that simple. I found-" Choking slightly on her words, "I found someone else."

In the thick fog, another figure formed its shadow, this one was in the shape of a boy. With curly brown hair and shining emerald eyes, he stepped forward.

"LIU!" Both kids jaw hit the ground.

"Jane!" Liu wailed in frustration as he stomped towards the two killers. "What the fuck bitch? When will you be done?"

"Just a second honey." She smiled at him and sweetly addressed him.

"Yeah, whatever whore." Purposely muttering the words loudly, he walked back towards the car that revealed itself through the massive fog.

Jeff looked at Liu and then back to Jane, staring deeply into the raven eyes. He released a heavy sighed and took a deep gulp. "Jane, It is okay. Go with him. You belong to him now."

"No, you're just saying that." She desperately tried to argue but Jeff was faster with the counter backs.

"Jane I'm telling you, for your own good," Jeff grabbed her by the shoulders and pleaded, "Go with him."

Unable to bear the look, she nodded and did as she asked. "I will come back for you, someday."

"I know you will." He smiled back and released his grip, no matter how painful the process was.

She took a quick peck at his cheeks and walked away, never breaking eye contact. And before Jeff knew it, Jane was gone.

Jeff took a deep breath and tried to collect himself, whatever that was left. He exhaled his agony and slowly watched back to his kids.

"Sorry, you couldn't get Jane back, Dad," Jenny stated somberly.

"Are you kidding? The guy is an idiot, I'll give him two weeks before she dumps him." Jeff tone was dropped to bliss sooner than he thought. "And I owe it to you two."

"Hey, since we're already out, can we get some ice creams?" Jenny pleaded gleefully.

"Don't push it, kid." Jeff deadpanned with a glare."Just kidding. Come on I will get you some. And I'm going to show you some tricks to sneak

"Just kidding." He chuckled and cheerfully ruffled with her hair. "Come on, I will get you both some. And I'm going to show you some tricks to sneak outside food into the theater undetected."

"You know dad, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," Jason stated as they all exited the airport together.


End file.
